stripped.

2010-10-11T19:31:00.002+08:00

the recurring feeling is a deep sense of loss;
loss of control,
loss of identify;
loss of direction;
loss loss loss.

i fix it with words and thoughts,
but even before the battle begin
i've lost.

i might as well admit defeat,
they said to pick your battles.
and it's so damning,
this feeling of profound sadness - i dont
even possess the swamping feeling of possible success.

bones dry in the wind,
words on a string,
paper thoughts lost in
deep seas.

i struggle against this sense of
dread. but i feel the pull in the dead
weight of this quicksand. sucking
me in.

and i know i'm lost.

2010-10-07T23:30:00.002+08:00

in the strange event where morals lose their foothold on our conscious, what will compass our actions? the id? the will to power? gods?

in the reality some call work, i find my compass swinging wildly. making infinite turns only lose my orientation. ma famille and mon amis throw me tons of suggestion: look towards God, keep your eyes on the money, meaningful relationships! baits and no anchor.

if this confusion has taught me anything, it is that being is a learned experience. there is literally nothing you cannot learn to be, or at least fake. i can be sincere and smart and classy with the same expression of thoughtful listening. in short, it's disappointment galore.

i've only started and already tired.

2009-07-18T02:50:00.000+08:00

She's Out Of My Life - Michael Jackson

2009-06-27T00:02:00.001+08:00

Feels Like Woah - Wes Carr

2009-06-21T01:48:00.001+08:00

this song reminds me of hairy men hugging and chugging beer in a pub.

2009-06-15T23:25:00.001+08:00

why so tired?

The Way I Am - Ingrid Michaelson

2009-06-06T12:20:00.001+08:00

and you, take me the way
i am.

Treehouse - I'm from Barcelona

2009-04-27T20:37:00.001+08:00

Family

2009-04-20T09:57:00.001+08:00

Funeral

2009-04-20T09:47:00.001+08:00

SIGNS

2009-04-14T21:32:00.001+08:00

I Want You To Want Me - Cheap Trick

2009-04-05T23:16:00.001+08:00

makes me wanna jump around all over my purchasing text.

then amanda told me ob finals is next tues. and all jumpy energy makes a quick exit.

musings at 2am.

2009-04-05T02:07:00.002+08:00

stay arrogant.. you have the rest of your life to be humbled by others.
stay angry.. there are many more which will take the fight out of you.
stay cute.. you will cherish it more when you're old and cynical.
stay active.. you will rue the day when you are not longer as nimble.
stay hopeful.. there is good yet.

dont whine.. no one loves a whiner.
dont quit.. you might never have the chance to finish what you've started.
dont complain.. the hand life dealt you might be the fairest one yet.
dont regret.. do everything you wanna do.

be fair.. karma is very real.
be kind.. what did i say about karma?
be the best you can be.. your best might not last with you for very long.

live strong.. nothing can hit you harder than yourself.
live passionately.. without which life's a drought.

bite me.

I Try - Macy Gray

2009-04-05T01:41:00.001+08:00

celebrating '90s hits with m.k loh and bq.

Always Be My Baby - David Cook

2009-03-30T19:44:00.001+08:00

c'est bien ah?

Tracks of my Tears/Cupid - Gavin Degraw

2009-03-28T02:02:00.001+08:00

i know everyone's raving 'bout lambert now.

me, i'm not a fan of the falsetto. so here's gavin degraw for you.

Don't Start A Band - Reel Big Fish

2009-03-27T16:48:00.001+08:00

does anyone else miss old school?

things to do before i expire.

2009-03-20T23:15:00.003+08:00

1. hug an elephant
2. live in nyc for 6 months to 2 years
3. live in australia for 6 months to 2 years
4. road trip in australia
5. road trip in america
6. go to eygpt
7. see safari africa
8. spend 2 years in SEA giving back to the community
9. find 2 people that i will trust with my life for life
10. try new food that would result in food poisoning at least once
11. be nicer to people who actually care about me
12. learn to surf
13. surf in hawaii/bali
14. learn to do chinese calligraphy well
15. learn to samba
16. be more gutsy
17. be less naive
18. go back to long iman to visit
19. go for glastonbury once
20. pick up smoking, then quit
21. learn to be kind
22. learn to be humble
23. learn to b nice to strangers
24. go on the orient express once
25. cuddle a dog without freaking out
26. find a huge seashell (not those man-made ones. must be able to hear the sea in it.)
27. find a hand to hold when i grow old
28. make an album of portraits of people (1 for the people i love and 1 about the people i've met.)
29. do a jill-ish mohawk once
30. when my skin is properly saggy, tattoo something silly like a flower (that will confuse them people who dig me up for historical purposes in 1000 years' time.)
31. be nice to everyone (even those who have been dicks to me. that would be the lesson on tolerance and patience.)
32. try to be a vegan for 6 months
33. learn to be less cutting with my words
34. dance in the rain

The Man Who Can't Be Moved - Amy Kuney (The Script cover)

2009-03-19T01:37:00.001+08:00

Cos if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me,
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I can be,
Thinking maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet,
And you'd see me waiting for you on the corner of the street.

You Belong to Me - The Duprees

2009-03-17T14:14:00.001+08:00

i only sing this song thinly veiled with hope. but in fact, i know you have already forgotten .

2009-03-14T02:06:00.003+08:00

face it.

you're not a princess in rags.

a knight in well disguised armour.

a jester in high school court.

you as seen in the mirror. pimply, unpopular adolescent. the media tries to make you feel good by broadcasting dramas showing how undiscovered beauties blossom into gold. they tell you you are lovely in every way. so you sit and wait, dramatising every move. writing a song for every event. waiting for that interlude, the big break where someone will realise your worth.

not gonna happen.

You are not special. You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake. You are the same decaying organic matter as everything else, and we are all a part of the same compost heap. [tyler durden]

tune into discovery channel once in a while. watch as people starve and kill. how basic instincts kick in in the pure rush of adrenaline (that has nothing to do with your soft comfortable life).

then step out of the door

and breathe in hot sunshine littered with pollen.

Still Crazy (audio) - Paolo Nutini

2009-03-09T22:26:00.001+08:00

sure as the rain starts to fall
yes I'll always remember you dear
and although we don't talk anymore
I was crazy for you, yes I was crazy for you
that's for sure, that's for sure

A Beautiful Mess - Jason Mraz

2009-03-06T10:58:00.001+08:00

Peggy Sue - Buddy Holly and The Crickets

2009-03-01T01:57:00.001+08:00

The story behind American Pie

2009-03-01T01:39:00.001+08:00

Throw Me a Rope - KT Tunstall

2009-02-24T23:12:00.001+08:00

it's true.

2009-02-23T14:35:00.001+08:00

found my wedding dress!!

now.. who wants to marry me?

photo credit: letrainbleu.com

The Ice is Getting Thinner - Death Cab for Cutie

2009-02-09T23:01:00.001+08:00

nobody cares.

Sway - Bic Runga

2009-02-09T01:48:00.001+08:00

'90s weekend.

let's not get too emo.

2009-02-06T22:59:00.002+08:00

i'd be lying if i said i didnt think of it. even more if i said it doesnt affect me. but this is only a cruise to no where. and i wont be so bold. so i let the worms bury deep inside my heart; porcelain surface in tact.

on a lighter note, my mum asked me that day if i'm attached. she's only been gone for a week, why would anything change? but i must be growing old to get from the "boyfriend banned" to "boyfriend grab" stage.

business proposition: made to order grandkids - the yuppie solution to over-eager parents.

2009-02-06T17:01:00.002+08:00

wisest thing said to me all day -
prof lan: no matter what you do, dont lose your integrity. once you lose it, you'd realise you no longer know who you are.

nicest (albeit jokey) thing said to me all day -
pangqi: eh when's you test date? want a few of us go down and help you not? like we'll drive behind you, then when you signal to change lane we'll hog the lane for you til you pass want not? HAHAHAHAHA.

the people around me are so awesome.

2009-02-06T02:05:00.004+08:00

my late night movie ended at 1245.

so sad growing younger as everyone around you ages and dies.

the film is great without any true takeaway.

just, now more than ever i wish there was someone here to hold me.

Beautiful World - Carolina Liar

2009-02-06T02:05:00.001+08:00

Here it comes in the morning
I’m just trying to forget
Keep it real, keep it simple
And somehow just get out of bed
And this city is endless
I’m as cold as it’s stone
Yeah this city is endless
And I’m, I’m walking alone

Sunlight creeps in between the curtains
Lose the sheets there’s no time for sleep
I lie, I pretend ‘til I’m almost certain
It’s a beautiful world

I wanna ask for direction
But I don’t dare to disturb
I got a thing with affections
Yeah, that’s why I’m walking alone

Sunlight creeps in between the curtains
Lose the sheets there’s no time for sleep
I lie, I pretend ‘til I’m almost certain
It’s a beautiful world

Here it comes in the morning…

Sunlight creeps in between the curtains
Lose the sheets there’s no time for sleep
I lie, I pretend ‘til I’m almost certain
It’s a beautiful world
(Yeah, it’s a beautiful world)
la la la la
I pretend ‘til I’m almost certain
It’s a beautiful world

Better Together (live) - Jack Johnson

2009-02-04T02:15:00.001+08:00

Barracuda - Heart

2009-02-01T16:54:00.001+08:00

2009-01-30T01:10:00.003+08:00

i really should be sleeping; i cant feel my nose and i think i'm hearing things other than the golden voice of the arctic monkeys.

instead i'm worrying about a paper i'm feeling half hearted about. thinking about the 60 page of intense human pain i have to plough through. eventually landing in this semi-pensive state.

i've grown greedy.
the abundance of having. not needing just leeching. clinging unto the metallic taste. failed ideals of naivety renders carelessly formed bridges ineffectual and meaningless. it has taught me to hang unto the tangible stench of liquidity. wanting yet not working; greed is only one of my deadly sins.

nobody likes change.
yet, we spin aimlessly, tumbling and toppling as the table tilts. effort spent easily wasted beneath the unforseen. i feel less inclined to smile sincerely, another day another drugged noose.
"dont see life that way!"; pray tell. how?

broken bracelet.
the cyclical discourse of life's patterns. i wash off my human instincts to find them stained to my skin. doomed to repeat the ways engraved in my dna. i judge you to differentiate me. but in my quieter moments, i know we are all the same.
somewhere some time, you wont be able to feel your nose too.

För kärlekens skull - Ted Gärdestad

2009-01-25T12:14:00.001+08:00

Fluorescent Adolescent - Arctic Monkeys

2009-01-23T01:21:00.001+08:00

so old. so so old.

Brianstorm - Arctic Monkeys

2009-01-23T01:19:00.001+08:00

hey brian.

Just - Mark Ronson feat. Phantom Planet

2009-01-23T01:14:00.001+08:00

take 2.

Oh My God - Mark Ronson feat. Lily Allen

2009-01-23T01:06:00.001+08:00

can you spell le awesomeness?

2009-01-17T00:53:00.000+08:00

in truth we're all variations of martha george honey and nick.

no judgments.

2009-01-14T23:20:00.001+08:00

same activity. different person.

missin' you babe. :(

the future bf.

2009-01-08T00:54:00.002+08:00

tall, kind, cool, steady, outgoing, shy, thin, humorous boys with short hair, cute smiles, a good sense of humour and sticky out ears who would treat me and the people around me well, please apply with michelle/biru.

thank you.

it's nice to know my mates are looking out for me.

2009-01-03T02:43:00.001+08:00

"To live, love
While the flame is strong,
for we won't be the young ones very long." - cliff richard - the young ones

2008-12-30T00:58:00.002+08:00

"oei! smile properly can!?"

"but this is my normal human smile!"

"that is so not!? like laugh smile."

"huh!? BWAHAHAHAHAAH!"

-caught on camera: typical maniacal laugh.

"aiya. you spoil my photo again."

2008-12-29T23:17:00.001+08:00

"pretty pretty pretty or not? Not important.
Whether naughty or not. If not,
pretty also no use." -wise person

most beautiful words i've read in a while now.

i <3 photoshop.. sometimes.

2008-12-28T01:33:00.002+08:00

T'was the night before Christmas - Clement Clark Moore

2008-12-25T22:02:00.000+08:00

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St Nicholas soon would be there.

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads.
And mamma in her ‘kerchief, and I in my cap,
Had just settled our brains for a long winter’s nap.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tinny reindeer.

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St Nick.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!

"Now Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!
On, Comet! On, Cupid! on, on Donner and Blitzen!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!"

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of Toys, and St Nicholas too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney St Nicholas came with a bound.

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot.
A bundle of Toys he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler, just opening his pack.

His eyes-how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow.

The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.
He had a broad face and a little round belly,
That shook when he laughed, like a bowlful of jelly!

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself!
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the stockings, then turned with a jerk.
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose!

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!"

new shoes.

2008-12-23T23:53:00.002+08:00

you've never heard this before.

a.

you're leaving in jan. and truly i'm quite sad. i know i've left and returned and things were always great. when i left it was without looking back. but now you're leaving i'm feeling so so sad. i should be happy for you like you were for me. but it's 3.5years. i'm sure we can stand the test of time and distance. you can go and come back and we'll still pick up where we left off. nothing will change. but i'll miss you so much. i'll miss our late night talks. our cheap shopping sprees. no one else will/can understand my need to be cheap yet atas. one less to slow my insane speed. no one to dissuade me from my crazy schemes. who's gonna hold my head when i cry?

your time to shine is here. and my selfish rant is only me missing what i will not lose. not to hold you back or rain on your parade. but as always. i'm sure you'd understand.

b.

NZ huh. you're the baby. how can we not worry. i know we're not the closest. but we're certainly getting there. i'm gonna miss you you know. your sweet (not quite and yet very), easy going nature. weird hair. WHO IS GONNA HELP ME WITH MY MAKE UP!? (yanrong. but that requires advance booking.) you're the peacemaker. we're gonna be so noisy without you. but you're so good at this. and i know with this opportunity you'll take flight and wow them all. scares me to think that you might really fly far away. but i'll worry about that when that day comes.

now just know that i'll miss you.

Both Sides Now - Joni Mitchell

2008-12-17T10:26:00.001+08:00

a bite of joni mitchell.

a shard of my heart.

wisest thing i've heard all day.

2008-12-16T00:27:00.002+08:00

"the people who are truly nice are not discriminating of who they are nice to. you know they are really nice because they are nice to everyone."
-mr shenzi.

i paraphrased.

it's true. by that moral compass. i'm not really nice then. (i'm thinking of that dude in china.) in fact. erwin's right. i have a VERY bitchy side. (which most people find very endearing. yea. baffles me too.)

neeeeeeh mind! still got the rest of my life to get that formula right!

thankgiving.

2008-12-10T18:42:00.002+08:00

this year hurried by, and without blinking i'm suddenly almost a year older. still, there are many who i wanna give thanks to. for making the year a blast. for holding my hand when i lose my balance.

friends who kept me good. mel, jas, aaron. for reminding me who i am when i'm most hurt. to stop me from doing anything potentially self destructive. for believing that deep beneath the many layers. i'm a good person.

friends who listen. aimei, jas, kai, mel. for calling to hear me sob my heart out. for spending hours a day talking to me to ensure my sanity. for understanding my ability to rant as a form a healing. for caring enough to at least pretend to be taking in all my shit. for being the friend hardest to be.

friends who care. joris and robi for flying over seven seas to be with me in shanghai. saving my last thread of sanity. friends who made time for me when i got back. 2 hrs. 20 mins. let's not weigh the fun. it's just nice to know you care enough to make that time. friends who looked out for me in shanghai. liu fei who always had my back.

new friends.

old friendships renewed. i give facebook most of the credit.

friendships made stronger. cai. shanghai and jas definitely made our friendship a little stronger than it was last year.

opportunities. cso, keith. it might have been long. but i'm definitely grateful for the chance to live in china. and interact with the locals.

a supportive family. financially and emotionally. nothing in my life could have been done without their support or approval.

those who were there to help in my time of need.

people who help me grow in more ways than one.

it's been a good year for growing. whatever thrown my way. it's definitely been a good year. and despite all my whinging. i think i did alright for myself.

to the boy who taught me photoshop

2008-12-10T02:00:00.002+08:00

when it comes to graphic designs. i realise it's still your approval that i want the most. :(

2008-12-04T01:45:00.000+08:00

i can but i wont.

世界末日-周杰伦

2008-12-02T23:48:00.001+08:00

here's to the recurring theme of remaining 15.

you guys are awesome. 15 or not. i would not be making it this far without.

2008-12-02T01:23:00.002+08:00

seriously. jill i blame you. and jas. and the loser ex. c'mon guys.. now you've got me stalking too.

blogs have turned into gossip girl central. we keep up and live up the cliffhangers the sad fans we are. we used to think she's top notch. post nose job, we're criticising her every move, scornful of her emo drama.

this bad habit better die before school reopens. tai tai life is looking at its end.

2008-12-01T11:56:00.003+08:00

sometimes on a pensive day as such, i wonder if all we're doing is really to prepare ourselves for death. afterall it's impending, and only a matter of time. to ease this journey, we go on the well-trodden path to avoid collision. maybe we'll meet lost souls along the way, someone to share the journey with to lessen the loneliness. some a little more resilient push along with a bruises, and still dont learn. at the end of the day, we will all meet the same fate. death spares none, and we can escape once, maybe twice, some even thrice; we can keep running, or maybe hide, but all-seeing, death will meet us head on. go with the flow, take it easy - the wise litter our paths with advices. like brownie points, some pick 'em up, some pass by with arrogance, some dispense their own brand of wisdom.

if we see life like a wacky racer game, then i'm probably still skidding on someone else's spilt oil. it happens, we do meet some strange ones whichever path we choose. the next time i'm making this round on the circuit, it'll just be wiser to avoid the oil spills. (especially since everyone is doing so.) problem is despite the multiple rounds on the circuit, i still skid on the same oil spots. it's irritating, but some patterns i just gotta learn to break. stop the autopilot (slow down before the hazard and change lanes. HAHAHA!)

ok. finish emoing. groupmates are here! need to pee!

growing up.

2008-11-27T21:04:00.001+08:00

i outgrow people like i outgrow clothes.

band aid

2008-11-27T01:47:00.002+08:00

how do you fix a broken relationship?

band aid

with consolatory words of comfort,
tiptoeing,
non-committal smiles,
unprovoked,
insincere.

i think despite it all, i'm still hoping for an apology to show me that i havent been wrong about you. the wise know better.

Brenden Foster Dies

2008-11-25T19:51:00.001+08:00

=(

RIP.

安静 - 周杰伦

2008-11-24T23:45:00.001+08:00

it was a blast. thanks guys.

Brianstorm - Arctic Monkeys @ Barcelona

2008-11-24T00:01:00.001+08:00

Brian, Top marks for not trying
so kind of you to bless us with your effortlessness
we're grateful and so strangely comforted
and I wonder,

Are you putting us under?
Because we can't take our eyes off the t-shirt and tie combination
see you later Innovator!

Some want to kiss some want to kick you
There's not a net you couldn't slip through
Or at least that's the impression I get
because you're smooth and you're wet
And she's not aware yet, but she's yours

She'll be saying "Use me", Show me the Jacuzzi
I imagine that it's there on a plate, you're our rendezvous rate
Means you'll never be frightened, to make them wait for a while
I doubt it's your style not to get what you set out to acquire
The eyes are on fire you are the un-forecasted storm

Calm, Collected and Commanding you leave the other stories standing
With your renditions and jokes I bet there's hundreds of blokes
That have wept because you've stolen their Thunder

Are you putting us under?
Because we can't take our eyes off the t-shirt and tie combination
see you later Innovator

my feedback loop came a little early this year.

2008-11-23T00:19:00.002+08:00

this year felt like such a waste of time.

things i would have undone:

1. dating richard. wouldnt even talk to richard that much. for many reasons. most importantly being talking to someone without memory retention/not thinking through (understanding) anything i've said clearly makes talking pointless.

2.gone to china. now dont get me wrong. china opened my eyes to alot of things i probably was too blind to see in singapore. but weighing off graduation and the lot. i really wish i've stayed. graduate with most of the lot. see the previous lot off. instead i'm stuck with all the honours students. friends. but painfully hardworking. doesnt do my ego good. on the + side. it'll probably give the recession some time to ease off before i step in.

3.letting my hair dry at night. migraines.

4.being so transparent.

5.doing so badly last semester. knowing myself i really could have done better. OE, french and biz policy. genes i thought i exceeded my means.

the new year is just around the corner. this should help in my new list of resolutions.

Fluorescent Adolescent - Arctic Monkeys @ Jonathan Ross

2008-11-21T08:32:00.001+08:00

HALLELUJAH - Espen Lind(on guitar), Askil Holm, Alejandro Fuentes, Kurt Nilsen (World Idol)

2008-11-21T02:15:00.001+08:00

the chorus really ARGH. but o/w individually. FWAHness.

2008-11-21T01:46:00.001+08:00

why so emo!?

Bigger Boys And Stolen Sweethearts (Live) - Arctic Monkeys

2008-11-19T12:45:00.001+08:00

2008-11-18T01:25:00.002+08:00

i love your words.
words on a string
you promise to tie them into rings.

wrapped in cellophane
cheap 22.
i dont mind.
they are good words.
in my eyes new as forgotten promises.
blinded in rays of
diamond poo.

i dont mind.
i sleep with a blindfold.
i breathe an even breath.
i dance an uneasy step.

words on the screen.
too cheap.
i dont mind.

but they are only words.

2008-11-18T01:07:00.001+08:00

hey. i suddenly really miss you.

zai one.

=(

reverting to my grass-eating ways.

2008-11-17T05:08:00.002+08:00

it speaks for itself.

could be holed in my too-cold weather. cuddling with the in-house dragon. listening to my various forms of emo. waiting for the 1st pound to hit inevitably.

or

lumber down in my pjs. out into the 10degree winter morning. stare a while at the weird loo that's been sitting by the common trash forever. wander out past the incredulous guards. look out for wet earthworms who's all gone too cold to stay stationery in the soil.

or

sit up in the dark. and listen to the silence. the way the world is devoided of noise when the dark descends. the unnerving calm. and the only thing alive is that constant hiccup in my ribcage.

or

curl in the cold and reflect. pawns and prawns.

i think my favorite strand is how the world is shut off to me, and me to the world in my crib. evolution takes a kick in the balls.

why heroes always makes me cry.

2008-11-16T23:23:00.003+08:00

Claire: I've fallen twenty stories. Been stabbed in the head. Crashed a car at 70 miles an hour. I've even been on fire. But this hurts... More than any of that. And it's not getting better. I've always gotten better, no matter what, but this just keeps getting worse.

---------

Peter: I took his power Nathan, I can't control it.
Nathan: I'm not leaving you Peter. There's another way to end this, and you know it.
Peter: I can't let you die.
Nathan: And I can't let everyone else...
Nathan: You saved the cheerleader, so we could save the world.

---------

Hiro: I refuse to eulogize my father. To eulogize him is to admit he is gone. My father is not dead. Kaito Nakamura taught me right from wrong. What it means to be a hero... so long as the lessons live on through me, he will never die. My father taught me to understand that certain things are in God's hands, but for everything else, God has given us the gift of choice. My father gave me the tools to fight the battles ahead. Every hand I extend in kindness is his hand. And every blow that I strike for justice is his fist. So long as the lessons he taught stay with me, and so long as he lives on in my heart, then my father is never truly dead.

Copperpid biq

2008-11-16T22:08:00.000+08:00

2nd runner up.

stupid.

2008-11-15T00:18:00.001+08:00

drowning in the details in the fabric...

written in the stars

2008-11-12T15:08:00.003+08:00

the problem with me and blogging these days is that the minute my butt falls near the seat beside my laptop, my brilliant words scramble right outta my head. i blame the radiation.

i'm sitting at pudong on day 0, waiting for 420pm to come. ordinarily i would flash forward to my next 3 days to run the itinerary through my head, so i can make sure that i wont miss a thing. but it's tedious and i'm lazy.

but here's what i can remember at the mo.

supper with jas tonight. might or might not depending on sanity.

pdl for breakfast. lunch with mel. hang with jas? thurs.

driving for breakfast. lunch with yanrong at munchies. dinner with W. mexican. oooooopapa! fri.

sat. jill and chew the whole day. maybe blackmail to go to queensway in the day? editor's meeting. c'mon.

sun. swat fart?

i'm sure there're else. but it's too tedious to remember.

on a lighter note. i went to get my fortunes told yesterday. just to make it extra spicy. it was by a blind man. all he asked for was my date of birth and the time i was born.

turns out. i'm meant to work somewhere away from home. not on the north like beijing. somewhere in the south or the east. considering my geographical home. i'm guessing no working in sembawang. think more CBD? or maybe not america but australia? it's all very confusing when you're not local like that.

best get a boyfriend past my 22 birthday. which is a bit troublesome coz i was thinking of hiring a bf to spend my 22nd with. ahahaha. not really. but would be nice to. nonono. not really. hmm. past 22. another month or 2. what's another couple of months? best not to date anyone 1 year older though. or born in the year of the monkey or snake. anything else is fine. apparently our stars clash. the monkey snake and i. which might be a little troublesome for my parents.

i shouldnt drive from my 31st to 35th birthday. which made me wonder if i really should get that license. he did say anytime else is fine.

and life SHOULD take off past my 24th birthday. best to start my career then. (gives me 2 years to play mum/dad. world tour maybe? :)) according to the man. i would get married later in life. say around 26. which is positively early for me singaporean person. but then again i was having my fortunes told in the land where they used to have child brides. what i was thinking? gees. from my 35th to 55th. there would be someone in my life who would always be helping me along. turns out my friends are not too bad either. (nah. my friends were never bad. i dont usually hang with people who make me feel/look/behave badly.)

no major illnesses prior to my death at 84.

alright. mostly similar to my fortunes as told in yiwu. and i reckon it's a pretty charmed life. so really i'm not complaining. but i will fly back to china, back to the small lane in front of RT mart if my life doesnt take off come 24, and sue the blind guy. nah i wont. all in good fun. i thought he was gonna feel my hand and foretell my impending doom. or something more dramatic. but really. a charmed life is pretty awesome. and for all i'm having now. i'm really not complaining.

looking back at my time in china. despite all my better complaints. i think i learnt quite a bit. grew up quite a bit. (in joris' words. china made me a woman. OMG.) seen quite a bit. did quite a bit. and grew tougher than i would like to. but things happen and really i'm quite grateful.

i think i'll miss my mates here. dont wanna name names. but i think the bits i'll miss the most are the busiest times before a show or a sale. where we would stay late in the shop to unwrap or move the stuff around. (squeeze my biceps people. rock solid.) it is fun. and really tiring. but fun. the gossiping. and the fooling around. definitely fun. the work. well it's work. but as oppsed to trying to pretend to be working when there's is nothing to be done. it's fun.

everytime someone asks or comments that i must be very happy/excited to go back. i dont bother to rebuke. but truly. inside i think i'll miss this place. the cold. the way the splendor mashes with the dirt to form a strange exotic culture. so different from my own and yet so alike. the pretense so intricately intertwined with reality that i can never understand or find my way. as long as i keep nodding along and holding that smile, it's all really quite ok.

i'm still as bad a salesperson as i was when i came. just more confident and less stuttery. ultimately, i realise that i'm not suited to sell here. me and my beliefs in honesty and sincerity will get quashed beneath the heaps of dirt. so really. i'm hoping home will provide the needed rejuvenation.

i'm looking forward to the hot disgusting singapore sun.

and the my next flight out again.

2008-11-08T21:42:00.002+08:00

i cant decide if it's ugly. or is it just a rejection to my sensibilities. wtf is it. and who am i to pass this judgement. on something that isnt even mine. not mine to hold or to understand or to satisfy. let it slide. slide slide slide. where to. slide. slide by me and into society. i get about just as dirty. like water. the more i try to wash me clean the dirtier i get. i can scrub loose a layer of skin. but what would that mean? keep growing thinner. yay sister. too fat. they say no. curves turn the heat up. as opposed to no fats to keep out the cold. fat fat fat. a beautiful dress in a mess. tangled in shoes and toes that wont fit into a piece. kiss kiss kiss. what have i missed. potato in a pan needs to find a friend. lend a hand. a hand that can and would mend. a hand a hand a hand. i dont want your hand. hands off mine. do not identify me with a race. race on the face. on my arms. laced. let go let go let go. come back come back. i surrender to nothing in this pain.

let me drop it.

nightswimming.

2008-11-08T21:20:00.002+08:00

i want to lie and say that this wall around me keeps me safe.

but walls break down and break.

this is more than that.

it's keeping me in.

4 days to touchdown.

two by two.

2008-11-04T14:29:00.002+08:00

mel says:
poor thing. u mean u're gonna tell him we talk about him as ivy!?
mel says:
freak
mel says:
i think his goosebumps will stand
mel says:
lol anyway... like the point should be that he shouldnt know we talk about him so much rite
mel says:
later he suspects something
pid biq says:
like what!?
mel says:
like... you're one of the fishes?!
pid biq says:
HA
pid biq says:
he wishes..
mel says:
lol
mel says:
im sure he doesnt wish. or at least... only because his fish tank is already ocean-deep
pid biq says:
HAAHAHAHA
pid biq says:
so eligible
pid biq says:
it's scary
mel says:
yeah. that's why small fish like us shouldnt venture into the ocean. like NEMO
mel says:
we should leave the pirhanas (sp?) to fight over him
mel says:
we stay in our peaceful ponds
pid biq says:
LOL
pid biq says:
ur pond has a fellow fish
pid biq says:
my pond is flooded w fungi
pid biq says:
i love this fish analogy btw
mel says:
hehe
mel says:
love it too
mel says:
just imagine ivvy with gills. i watched harry potter and the goblet of fire again on dvd the other day. gillyweed!
mel says:
hehe
pid biq says:
i should put it on my blog!
mel says:
and i cant bring myself to type i v y
pid biq says:
OMG..
pid biq says:
lol
mel says:
hahahaha
pid biq says:
ivy.. iiiiiiiiiiiiivy.
mel says:
does he read your blog?!
pid biq says:
uh
pid biq says:
yea?
mel says:
EEEEEEEEEEEEEW
mel says:
hahaha well.
mel says:
make it obvious that you wanna transfer from your pond to the ocean la!!!
mel says:
CHEY
mel says:
hahahah LD
pid biq says:
i dont want lah
pid biq says:
did u not see how scary it was for marlin!?
pid biq says:
ie nemo's dad
mel says:
HAHA
mel says:
he had dory
mel says:
i can be your dory
mel says:
wooots!!~
mel says:
in your adventure to seek the ocean fish tank
pid biq says:
u know what i do w dories? i dont use em as guides. i eat em for dinner at fish n co. coz they'r so so goooood!
mel says:
i dont eat dory fish
mel says:
as in... not when i know it's dory fish
mel says:
hahaha!
mel says:
cos of dory
mel says:
I SPEEEEK WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALE
pid biq says:
REALLY!?
pid biq says:
OMG
pid biq says:
but dory meat is so HMMMMMMP!
mel says:
yeah
mel says:
i know
mel says:
and dory in the show isnt dory fist
mel says:
fish*
mel says:
hahaha!
mel says:
weird quirk la
mel says:
but i generally dont discriminate against the fish and co stuff
mel says:
haha
pid biq says:
LOL
pid biq says:
AWWWW
pid biq says:
u'r my dory!!
mel says:
*peace sign*
pid biq says:
so weird. should always be u'r my glory..
pid biq says:
not dory.
pid biq says:
gees.
mel says:
hahahahha
mel says:
well. i wanna be the sidekick now. cos u're the pinky to my brain
mel says:
hahahaha
mel says:
whee!~
mel says:
happy
pid biq says:
LOL
pid biq says:
i love being the pinky to ur brain
pid biq says:
though truly i like the brain better
pid biq says:
pinky's too.. OMG
pid biq says:
lol
mel says:
hahaha he's diabolical
mel says:
i mean brain
mel says:
hahahah
pid biq says:
but i like him!
pid biq says:
oh
pid biq says:
i can also b the bert to ur ernie
pid biq says:
lol
mel says:
HEHEHE
mel says:
erm lemme think of sth else
mel says:
the robin to your batman!?
mel says:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
pid biq says:
ok
pid biq says:
what else can i be.
pid biq says:
OMG
pid biq says:
i dont watch enough tv!
pid biq says:
lol
pid biq says:
OH
pid biq says:
i can be the patrick to ur spongebob
pid biq says:
HAHAHAA
mel says:
HAHAHAH
mel says:
erm... i can be RON to your KIM POSSIBLE!
mel says:
whee!`
pid biq says:
HAHAHAHA

2008-10-28T12:42:00.003+08:00

15 days.

dreaming of

1. skate dates.
2. cookouts.
3. my new dress. (please be chio. or at least pretend to be.)
4. monsters chasing me in my granny's old flat.
5. my nice soft bed that does not leave me bruised in the morning.
6. the sun.

head's playing mardy bum on loop (thanks k. seriously.) at the risk of sounding 16. artic monkeys rock!

i've gone extremely primitive. talk about living amidst civilisation.

cant get enough of brit rock. i think part of it has something to do with the accent.

i was looking forward to thurs. now i'm not. bloody dont wanna be lugging bloody boots back and forth ks and sh. coz 1. it's heavy. 2. if it's not heavy it's big and not particularly handy. no 3. (for once.)

he told me that you were gagging for it.

Leave Before The Lights Come On - Arctic Monkeys

2008-10-27T12:57:00.001+08:00

i love the way he shakes his head as if to clear it after he leaves her on the face.

Teddy Picker - Artic Monkeys

2008-10-27T12:55:00.001+08:00

2008-10-23T16:13:00.000+08:00

20 days..

and need to pee.... (not in 20 days time. NOW!)

Let Her Cry - Hootie and the Blowfish

2008-10-09T18:27:00.001+08:00

let her cry..

SOS

2008-10-09T12:35:00.002+08:00

early in jun, i sent out an SOS: shanghai was just killing me. food was weird. work was weird. everything was odd and i wasnt fitting in well. the general respond was to take things easy and slow. the worst i got was "be strong." (SERIOUSLY!? turned out the person dishing that wasnt winning personality awards.) 3 good friends decided that the best way to save me was to come and visit.

jas
she made plans to visit way before i send out my SOS. where i m, she visits. uk, and now china. and while it was nice in uk, i couldnt appreciate it more in china. we did nanjing and a bit of shanghai together, and through her got to know becky (who by the way, is great!). had hell lot of fun exploring nanjing (the city with the most number of universities) and shopping. (i miss shopping with jas. :() visited hell lot of mausoleums. walked alot. sweat alot. bitch alot. bliss.

mum
mum was the 1st person who returned my SOS. though not a friend, she provided much sanity when she came here. seriously. boxes of brownies, cookies, chips, books. it's almost like being home. everything i love that can be fitted into a suitcase. of coz i tried to savour every bite of brownie, but now they're all gone. which is just as well since i'm gonna be gone soon too.

robi
the day he landed, robi told me the only reason he's picked shanghai over beijing is coz i'm here. SWEET OR NOT!? and he's an language student. he and joris would always send me messages saying that the strong belgian warrior and the hungarian goulash/salami slicer was gonna come and save me. and they kept to their word!! i'm having really good times hanging with robi, shopping, partying, hanging. all good. i'm gonna really miss him when i get back to singapore. but he said he'll try to visit. so that's cool. :)

joris
joris just left yesterday. damn sad. he flew over from hongkong for the 10/1 hols. 1st to beijing, than shanghai to visit robi and i. after that we visited suzhou and yiwu together. oh my god. i havent seen joris for almost a year, and hanging after not seeing him for so long was good!! he also brought joao (who will sometimes also go by raoul) who is super nice and sweet. seriously. it was the best being able to hang with joris, robi and raoul.

best week so far. it's nice to have people responding when i send out SOSes. was totally bummed out when joris and raoul left yesterday. but jas and daddy's right. i'm going home soon. to see all the rest of my mates. there's plans to meet mel for brunch (skating will come in a little later i suppose.) jas (shopping would come in eventually.) weiwei (COOKOUT!! this one i'm really looking forward to. w can really cook.) the pqs for tennis. food with jo, robbin and beat. (beat equinox? :)) and loads more. definitely meeting up with everyone, and as much as i can, i'm gonna bring gifts. but we'll see.

lunch time is almost over.
this is 34 to arrival.

hide and seek.

2008-09-27T17:22:00.001+08:00

this song does things to my heart.

and at some point. i've gotta stop seeking.

apple and tree.

2008-09-27T16:47:00.002+08:00

so.

i know i havent updated in a while. mostly coz my words have left me. and that sad sad day i mourned.

it's official.

autumn.

the temperature dropped 10 degrees the day before. as usual i'm caught unprepared. so stubbornly while everyone was busy wrapping themselves up in mao jackets, i went out armed with only a thread bare tank top (from h&m no less). needless to say. when the temperature dropped another 2 degrees at night i nearly died. luckily. with age comes semi-wisdom. and this one we called preparation. thank god for cardigans.

but you know me. ever the cynic. since the wind couldnt stop howling and the sky was grey all yesterday. i refused to believe that my bout of perfect weather was gone.

until i stepped outta my place this morning. and realise even with insulation in the building. it was chilly.

i reckon a little shopping is in order.

the next week is the week long chinese national day holiday. needless to say. i would be working.

on the + side. joris and friend will hit shanghai 2nd october. robi is already here by the way. and so far we're having fun. (he was my shopping partner yesterday) we'll be heading to yiwu after all the holiday madness. and it'll be awesome. cant wait to see the man! it's been a while. :)

so yea. me n my homies. (HAHHAHA!) should be fun.

i counted down 50 from tues. cant wait to see you guys. if you want anything you know how to get me. some of you i've already gotten stuff and without you asking. now that's love. or not. might just be good memory. either way. i heart you guys. and any advice on what to get for my aunties would be more than welcome.

cya later elavator.

No Doubt - Bathwater

2008-09-23T16:24:00.001+08:00

i know i've posted this before. but the lady.. just hotter than thou.

and though i think bathing in someone's bathwater is pretty eww. some call it their cool.

Flight of the Conchords - Hiphopopotamus vs. Rhymenoceros

2008-09-17T12:43:00.001+08:00

Black horse and cherry tree - KT Tunstall

2008-09-09T18:34:00.001+08:00

woohoooooooooooooooooo!

Romeo and Juliet - The Killers

2008-09-04T13:24:00.001+08:00

A lovestruck romeo sings a streetsus serenade
Laying everybody low with me a lovesong that he made
Finds a convenient streetlight steps out of the shade
Says something like you and me babe how about it ?

Juliet says hey its romeo you nearly gimme a heart attack
Hes underneath the window shes singing hey la my boyfriends back
You shouldnt come around here singing up at people like that
Anyway what you gonna do about it ?

Juliet the dice were loaded from the start
And I bet and you exploded in my heart
And I forget the movie song
When you wanna realise it was just that the time was wrong juliet ?

Come up on differents streets they both were streets of shame
Both dirty both mean yes and the dream was just the same
And I dreamed your dream for you and your dream is real
How can you look at me as if I was just another one of your deals ?

Where you can fall for chains of silver you can fall for chains of gold
You can fall for pretty strangers and the promises they hold
You promised me everything you promised me think and thin
Now you just says oh romeo yeah you know I used to have a scene with him

Juliet when we made love you used to cry
You said I love you like the stars above Ill love you till I die
Theres a place for us you know the movie song
When you gonna realise it was just that the time was wrong juliet ?

I cant do the talk like they talk on tv
And I cant do a love song like the way its meant to be
I cant do everything but Id do anything for you
I cant do anything except be in love with you

And all I do is miss you and the way we used to be
All do is keep the beat and bad company
All I do is kiss you through the bars of a rhyme
Julie Id do the stars with you any time

Juliet when we made love you used to cry
You said I love you like the stars above Ill love you till I die
Theres a place for us you know the movie song
When you gonna realise it was just that the time was wrong juliet ?

A lovestruck romeo sings a streetsus serenade
Laying everybody low with me a lovesong that he made
Finds a convenient streetlight steps out of the shade
Says something like you and me babe how about it ?

night in the life of a china aunty

2008-09-04T12:29:00.002+08:00

i've been taking up dancing lately, WITH A COLLEAGUE. mostly because the nights here are filled with 1. work, 2. dinner, 3. ktv, 4. chinese tv (WHICH IS RIDICULOUS. the nice shows are usually informative. the drama serials are either about a. the mao era, b. the modern day china, c. tang/ming dynasty. there's a disproportionate amount of mao shows. i cringe.), 5. internetless nights. so when my colleague told me she was taking up dance somewhere in the backyard, i eagerly asked to join here.

tuesday night, after a good day of rest, i head down to join her near the basketball court. unlike the usual, i was late, and they have already started. i suppose i should have suspect that it was an aunty event (although my colleague has barely hit 30), with throngs of aunties shaking their boogeys to the tunes of aqua (my oh my. literally.), SHE (superstar. we can all dream), and other songs that dont exist in this generation. some came dressed to the ts, putting on their best dress, while some gallop around in their pjs.

i quickly spotted my friend at the back row, gingerly imitating the old lady in front of her. after a quick hi, we got down to business. the steps, in all honesty, were pretty easy. the thing that was tough was having to learn the steps via imitation, since no one was really leading/teaching the load of us. there were about 10-15 dances, with varying steps. nothing that would induce a heart attack. there are some pretty amusing tunes. aqua and SHE aside, there were songs glorifying mao. (seriously. check this. 我到北京找毛主席. uh ok. really. ok.) and then there was songs about how the guy's been working hard for his boss and would like his birthday off because there's a girl waiting for him at home [birthday surprise hooker?]

my person favourite was this song that goes like 我的傻妞妞, about how this guy likes this cute girl. this was also the song where i get a gorgeous view of elderly ladies shaking their aged bums to the upbeat tune. my first instinct was to dive and laugh. my real reaction was to pretend i wasnt fazed and imitate. truly. while the sight might not be the sexiest thing, it was really the sweetest. these sweet old ladies want to be hot too! i suppose that's a feeling that will never grow old. i, on the other hand, cant get myself to shake it like beyonce. mostly for the fear i'll fall down. (nope. not the nimblest there is.)

that went on for over an hour. we went from line dancing to what felt like it might be chinese dance (chinese dance in china! go self!) to weird steps i cannot identify. but it was fun. no one was judging me, i can laugh and be stupid and dance as badly as i like. the aunties were great. offering to teach me the steps of moving to make space. we are all amateurs, only there for a bit of fun. it was good.

when it ended, my colleague and i walked through the estate. (she lives a block away from me.) sitting by the swings were old men, with their legs propped, talking about nothing. crickets hopped by our feet as we stomped on the dewy grass. there were little kids running around the playground, dragging behind them long branches of willow. as they raced past my calves, laughing unrestrained, i had a real profound feeling of bliss.

i love this life. carefree. no one judging. i can be me.

it might be hard to understand, but everytime i leave singapore soil, something in me awakens. i buy clothes i'll never wear in singapore. do things i'll never do in the presence of my singaporean friends. (i spat. yes i spat. and after i spat i was like. OH SHIIIIIIT! i SPAT!) try new things i'll never try back home. i feel different. i probably am too. no one i care about judges me. i can be who i am with every ease.

and that night. i was living the aunty in me.

Dear God - Avenged Sevenfold

2008-08-30T13:52:00.001+08:00

sometimes.

I'm Still Here (from TREASURE PLANET) - John Rzeznik

2008-08-25T12:45:00.001+08:00

I am a question to the world,
Not an answer to be heard.
All a moment that's held in your arms.
And what do you think you'd ever say?
I won't listen anyway...
You don't know me,
And I'll never be what you want me to be.

And what do you think you'd understand?
I'm a boy, no, I'm a man..
You can take me and throw me away.
And how can you learn what's never shown?
Yeah, you stand here on your own.
They don't know me 'cause I'm not here.

And I want a moment to be real,
Wanna touch things I don't feel,
Wanna hold on and feel I belong.
And how can the world want me to change,
They're the ones that stay the same.
The don't know me,
'Cause I'm not here.

And you see the things they never see
All you wanted, I could be
Now you know me, and I'm not afraid
And I wanna tell you who I am
Can you help me be a man?
They can break me
As long as I know who I am

And I want a moment to be real,
Wanna touch things I don't feel,
Wanna hold on and feel I belong.
And how can the world want me to change,
They're the ones that stay the same.
They can't see me,
But I'm still here.

They can't tell me who to be,
'Cause I'm not what they see.
And the world is still sleepin',
While I keep on dreamin' for me.
And their words are just whispers
And lies that I'll never believe.

And I want a moment to be real,
Wanna touch things I don't feel,
Wanna hold on and feel I belong.
And how can they say I never change
They're the ones that stay the same.
I'm the one now,
'Cause I'm still here.

I'm the one,
'Cause I'm still here.
I'm still here.
I'm still here.
I'm still here.

Shadows And Regrets - Yellowcard

2008-08-22T13:27:00.001+08:00

we were only kids.

can we mute the commentary please?

2008-08-22T11:40:00.002+08:00

the sorry that stuck hardest with me was from the show simon birch. feeling guilty that he caused his best friend's mum's death (it was an accident!) he ran to the middle of a deserted bridge, screaming "i'm sorry!! i'm sorry!!" to no one (or maybe god?). i know it doesnt sound as cool/romantic/impactful when i say it, but that scene is somehow special to me. lingering in my memory like a loose thread. it seems almost helpless, the way simon kept going.

i suppose sometimes we all feel that way. and this one is for me.

i'm
sorry that we end up this way.
sorry that our last words to each other were harsh and hurtful.
sorry that we never had a chance to be friends.
sorry that i dont mean enough.
sorry that i've locked you out.
sorry that i can no longer let you in.
sorry that i lost my cool.
sorry that even though i know what you wanted i wont give it.
sorry that i've made you so mad.
sorry that i no longer care enough to understand.
sorry that you think feel her lack of dignity is more my judgement than yours.
sorry that you think i hurt you delibrately.

and for many many more, sorry.

sorry. sorry sorry sorry, sorry.

i'm sorry.

even if we couldn't be friends i wouldnt have want things to end on such a bad note.
and i'm sorry we can no longer be friends.

why i heart oz.

2008-08-19T17:48:00.002+08:00

Oz: I'm gonna ask you to go out with me tomorrow night. And I'm kinda nervous about it, actually. It's interesting.
Willow: Oh! Well, if it helps at all, I'm gonna say "yes."
Oz: Yeah, it helps. It ... it creates a comfort zone. ... Do you wanna go out with me tomorrow night?
Willow: [slaps forehead] Oh! I can't!
Oz: Well, see, I like that you're unpredictable.
Willow: Oh ... It's just, it's Buffy's birthday, and we're throwing her a surprise party.
Oz: It's okay.
Willow: But you could come! If you wanted.
Oz: Well, I don't want to crash.
Willow: No, it's fine! You could be my ... my date.
Oz: All right. I'm in. [nods farewell when she indicates she's ready to leave]
Willow: [walks off, delighted with the encounter] I said "date"!

------; [As Buffy's friends lie in wait at the otherwise empty Bronze for her surprise birthday party, Buffy arrives by crashing through the window, struggling with a vampire. After a bit more tussle, she dusts him. As Buffy's friends stand agape, Cordelia jumps out of hiding.]; Cordelia: Surprise!; Oz: That pretty much sums it up.; ------; Oz: I was on the phone all night, listening to Willow cry about you. Now, I don't know exactly what happened, but I was left with a very strong urge to... hit you.; ------; Willow: ...I think you're ready now, or at least in the state of pre-readiness to make conversation, or-or to do that thing with your mouth that boys like. [Buffy glares at her] Oh, I didn't mean that bad thing with your mouth, I meant that little half-smile thing that you... [looks at Oz] you're supposed to stop me when I do that.; Oz: I like when you do that.; ------; Xander: You know, maybe we're on the wrong track with the whole spell, curse and whammy thing. Maybe what we should be looking for is something like... Slayer kryptonite.; Oz: Faulty metaphor. Kryptonite kills.; Xander: You're assuming I was talking about the green kryptonite. I was referring, of course, to the red kryptonite, which drains Superman of all his powers.; Oz: Wrong. The gold kryptonite's the power-sucker. The red kryptonite mutates Superman into some sort of weird-; Buffy: Guys, reality!; ------; Willow: I think we could be dead in two days and you're being ironic, detachment guy.; Oz: Would it help you if I panic?; Willow: Yes! It'd be swell. Panic is a thing people can share in times of crisis. And everything's really scary now, you know? And I don't know what's going to happen. A-a-and there's all sorts of things that you're supposed to get to do after high school, and I was really looking forward to doing them, and now we're probably just going to die, and I'd like to feel that maybe you would-; [Oz kisses her.]; Willow: What are you doing?; Oz: Panicking.
------: Cordelia: I personally don't think it's possible to come up with a crazier plan.; Oz: We attack the Mayor with hummus.; Cordelia: I stand corrected.; ...; Cordelia: My point however is, crazy or not, it's pretty much the only plan. Besides, it's Buffy's, and she's Slay Gal, you know, Little Miss Likes-to-fight. So...; Xander: I think there was a 'yea' vote buried in there somewhere.; ...; Angel: Well, he's not crazy about germs.; Cordelia: Of course. That's it! We'll attack him with germs!; Buffy: Great! We'll get him cornered, and then you can sneeze on him.; Cordelia: No! No. We'll get a container of Ebola virus, and... and, um... or -- it doesn't even have to be real. We could just get a box that says "Ebola" on it, and, um... [snaps her fingers] chase him. [everyone is silent] ...With the box.; Xander: I'm starting to lean towards the hummus offensive.; Oz: He'll never see it coming.
------: Willow: Oz, don't you love me?; Oz: My whole life, I've never loved anything else.

there are so many more quotes out there!! and he's so.. sweet. and practical. it's so. WOW. yes. i spent my afternoon reading buffy quotes. yes i know it's so 1998. yes i actually enjoyed it. after so many years. oz is still my favourite. some people just dont go outta style.

Ordinary People - John Legend

2008-08-19T12:48:00.001+08:00

Girl im in love with you
This ain't the honeymoon
Past the infatuation phase
Right in the thick of love
At times we get sick of love
It seems like we argue everyday

[Bridge]

I know i misbehaved
And you made your mistakes
And we both still got room left to grow
And though love sometimes hurts
I still put you first
And we'll make this thing work
But I think we should take it slow

[Chorus]

We're just ordinary people
We don't know which way to go
'cause we're ordinary people
Maybe we should take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we'll take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we'll take it slow

[Verse 2]

This ain't a movie no
No fairy tale conclusion ya'll
It gets more confusing everyday
Sometimes it's heaven sent
Then we head back to hell again
We kiss and we make up on the way

[Bridge]

I hang up you call
We rise and we fall
And we feel like just walking away

As our love advances
We take second chances
Though it's not a fantasy
I Still want you to stay

[Chorus]

We're just ordinary people
We don't know which way to go
'cause we're ordinary people
Maybe we should take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we'll take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we'll take it slow

[Verse 3]

Take it slow
Maybe we'll live and learn
Maybe we'll crash and burn
Maybe you'll stay, maybe you'll leave,
maybe you'll return
Maybe you'll never fight,
Maybe we won't survive
But maybe we'll grow
We never know baby youuuu and I

[Chorus]

We're just ordinary people
We don't know which way to go(hey)
'cause we're ordinary people
Maybe we should take it slow (Heyyy)
We're just ordinary people
We don't know which way to go
'cause we're ordinary people
Maybe we should take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we'll take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we'll take it slow
take it sloww
take it slow
this time we'll take it slow

Country House - Blur

2008-08-19T12:10:00.001+08:00

let me take you back to the 90s.

Better Together (live) - Jack Johnson

2008-08-19T12:06:00.001+08:00

chill with me? :)

2008-08-16T13:28:00.003+08:00

"how did you find me?

i thought i buried it deep,
piled with sand
dusted in worms
scratched to dull the surface.

yet you found me.

i hope you like what you see,
or maybe
it was just a speck of
dust
catching the ray of the sun.
not the gem you thought you found.

no refunds in this shop."

-dated 6/2/08

in retrospect. i'm glad i'm not refundable. just recycleable.